I'm feeling a very cold person right now... I'll explain why.
11st in class about 8pm, teacher decided to make a coffee break, I decided to not leave the class and kept working in the inking of my AOCT stuff, then one of my classmates called me in the door. She asked me if I knew and was friend of Felipe S. A. and I said yes and that was when she pointed to a warning in the wall that said he had died yesterday (10th). At first I didn't believe, I mean... it couldn't be MY Felipe... he was a cool guy and not envolved to any kind of dangerous activity, young too, so how could he just die? At same time I believed because... it happens, but still I couldn't cry, I just kept stunned, to tell the true I smiled because to think of him always makes me remember how fun and cool he was. So, yesterday (12nd) in class another classmate asked me if I knew him, I confirmed again and said I was his friend, then she told me he fell/jumped from the psychologist building...
I still didn't cry... I don't even know if I'm feeling anything. I know I'm sad, the guy was awesome, I hadn't seen him this year yet, but was looking for it, but to tell the true I can only laugh and smile when people mention him or even when I talk about him. I dunno if I'm just too cold, I think I already assimilated what happened, but still can't cry and it's not the first time I feel (or don't feel) like this with the lost of a friend... but at same time I can't accept it... what in world could get a 20 years old person to suicide? He was always so hyper and fun, was he just hiding it? I don't really think so... but if something happened to him this summer, what was so terrible to make he take this decision...? He was very impulsive, to tell the true, but that's just... unacceptable.
I dunno if it's wrong to mention his name here in my journal, but honestly, I don't think it makes a diference anymore u.u
I'm fine, just can't stop wondering what should I think and what should I do at all...
Anyways, I'll miss you, dude. I hope there's a better place at all...